Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Where I find myself

Here I am in front of the computer again, wondering what to write, and yet feeling the desire to put something in my blog. So I dug up something I wrote a while back and freshened it up with new thoughts and scriptures and here it is:

One of my favorite Bible people is David. I always thought of him, “being a man after God’s own heart,” as so spiritual. But when we studied his life closely in Sunday School a few years ago, I discovered that he had his ups and downs, as we all do. He often did things without consulting God and the results were less than pleasing. When he stopped to “inquire of the Lord”, God gave him great victories. The Psalms are full of David’s prayers, sometimes he was joyous and sometimes like a lost sheep, but always ready to praise God, even when he couldn’t see Him working.

Psalm 28: "To you I call, O LORD my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place…
Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."

Sometimes we look at others around us and think they are so spiritual, especially those at church or who are in full-time ministry. We think they have a special conduit to God and must be really close to Him. But the demands and pace of daily living, can actually be a detriment to a person’s relationship to God. Too busy to stop and meditate on God and His word, we can find ourselves in the wilderness, wondering how in the world we got there! But God is never surprised at where we find ourselves.

God is with me wherever I go, even in the wilderness, though I might not see or hear him there. He has promised to never leave me or forsake me, but sometimes, I choose to leave Him.

Right now, my time is demanded by three little boys who need me, especially Little D, who is nineteen months and every bit a toddler now. Walking, running, climbing and exploring his world, he requires constant supervision. I never leave him or forsake him; I am always nearby and listening, even if I can’t see him at a particular moment. It’s a madhouse here sometimes, as I try to keep up with three boys.

I am glad that God can watch over millions of His children at the same time! He knew where David was when he was in the wilderness, running from Saul. He knows where I am when I am yelling at the kids and He loves me just the same. When David was spiritually dry, he still looked to the Lord. I recognize this dryness in me, feeling like God is not nearby and my enemy (Satan) is triumphing over me. Even so, David was able to recognize God’s unfailing love and write a song:

Psalm 13: "How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, 'I have overcome him,' and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me."

So, when I take time and inquire of the Lord, reading his Word daily, life is supposed to go smoothly, right? Not always. That is where trusting him comes in.
When I can't see him, he is still there.
When I can't feel him, he is still there.
When I don't look for him, he is still there.
When I don't talk to him, he is still there.

Praise you, Lord. Thank you that you never leave me or forsake me, because I certainly have done both to you many times. Thank you that you are with me. Remind me of your presence and provision and give me the time and desire to spend time with you. Love, Becky

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